No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
