She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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