KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
