A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need water and some morals
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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