i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
