TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
sex in a hospital.. check
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
