Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
