Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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