Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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