I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
