I think i peed on brittanys purse
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
