Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
