Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
