What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
All the doctor said was why
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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