R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
