this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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