Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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