TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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