My friends, they love my intelligence
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
