I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i barfeds in our rink
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
