just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
