if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
