try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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