Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
