you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
