That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
