i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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