i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
