He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
