Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize