rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize