another moral hangover. fuck.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
