.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
