there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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