the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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