If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
