I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
