just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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