AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
