why do cheetos always look like penises
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Pants are for mortals
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
