yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
