Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
