I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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