I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
