the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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