okay pat passed out under dana's car
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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