Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
