Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
