Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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