woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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