I hate all girls vehemently.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
